Is it okay to not know what you want to do?
You owe it to yourself to live a life that's yours
I’m Ekam — currently between things, mildly bored, and overly caffeinated — so I figured why not start sharing stuff I actually enjoy?
Before we dive into my third post, here’s my story in five words:
Startups. Consumer/Food. Personal Finance. Chess. Arsenal/Soccer (COYG!).
That’s the vibe. If you’re into any of those, stick around.
I’ve recently found myself drawn to paintings, ones that don’t shout for attention but have a deep meaning behind it.
This one in particular stayed with me: “The Traveler” by Stephen Bauman.
What’s this guy feeling? Is he lost? Waiting? Processing?
To me, this painting looks like uncertainty. That strange, weighty stillness when you don’t know what comes next.
Which brings me to the question that’s been sitting with me lately:- Is it okay to not know what you want to do?
Especially in your late 20s or early 30s?
Short answer: Yes. Totally.
I used to think I was the only one unsure. That by now, I should have had a “career plan” or a clear 5-year path. But the more I talk to people and especially those I look up to, the more I realise that most of us are figuring it out as we go.
At a Duke alumni event last year, I had conversations with a bunch of folks who were clearly crushing it—top of their fields, running teams, building companies, investing millions. I was expecting super linear journeys.
But here’s what actually came up in those chats:
3/10 started in fields completely different from where they are now:
Law grads now working in venture capital
Engineers who transitioned into fashion
Consultants who became nonprofit founders
5/10 are still figuring it out — still asking:
“What’s next?”
That hit me.
These weren’t confused 22-year-olds. These were successful, sharp professionals who were still evolving, still unsure about where they’re heading next.
So if you're in the middle of your own “figuring it out” phase, here’s a message for you (and for me):
It’s normal. We’re not late.
Here are three things I’m learning as I stumble through my 20s and maybe they'll help you too.
1. Listen to everyone. Then choose for yourself.
You’ll meet two types of people.
One kind will listen. They’ll share what worked for them and what didn’t. They’ll zoom out and show you how things connect across roles and industries. These folks are helpful when you’re in exploration mode.
The other kind will push you toward what they know because they’ve gone deep in one domain. Think AI, finance, real estate, etc. They’ve spent years building expertise, and they’ll encourage you to do the same.
Both have value. But only you know what matters most to you.
Take advice. Ask questions. But don’t hand over the steering wheel (Yes! An Incubus reference of course!)
You’ll make mistakes. That’s fine.
You’ll change your mind. That’s normal.
It’s your life. Own the call.
2. Use “first principles” when making big decisions
This one's been a game-changer for me. The idea comes from physics, but Elon Musk talks about it a lot in how he builds things.
“First principles” means breaking a problem down to its basics—what you know for sure is true—and building up from there.
Not just copying what others are doing. Not just following the “industry standard.”
I used this mindset when thinking about pricing strategy at my previous startup.
Everyone around us followed the same pattern when scaling into retail:
→ Launch high, then discount heavily.
But we asked: Why?
Instead of copying what others do, we broke the problem down to its fundamentals:
What do our customers truly value?
How do we want them to feel about our pricing?
What message does our pricing send about our product?
How does it reflect what we believe in?
That question led us to test new pricing ideas.
Some worked.
Some didn’t.
But what changed was the clarity of the process — it became more intentional, more aligned with who we are.
Thinking from first principles helps you see the world differently.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth trying.
(If you're curious: here’s a good explainer and Elon’s take.)
3. Don’t ignore the stuff you love doing
This one’s simple but easy to forget.
We’re told to optimise for impact, money, prestige. And those things do matter. But they can’t be the only things.
Recently, I took the CliftonStrengths test. Not a magic solution, but it gave me language for something I already kind of knew: I’m a "Relator"—someone who finds energy in deep connections and shared goals.
So I leaned into that. I made more time for things I enjoy:
Playing tennis.
Getting good dose of coffee with friends.
Having long, honest conversations with my mentors.
And guess what? That stuff gives me energy. It clears my head. It helps me show up better at work too.
There’s value in hobbies. In joy. In rest.
Mental well-being isn’t a luxury. It’s a need.
So carve space for it. Prioritise what keeps you grounded.
That’s where I’m at.
Still figuring things out. Still trying. Still unsure, often.
But not feeling behind anymore.
So if you're in the same boat, here's your reminder:
It’s okay not to have it all figured out.
Just keep going. Keep asking. Keep being honest with yourself.
And remember:-most people are figuring it out too. They just talk about it less.
TL;DR: It’s normal to feel uncertain in your 20s or 30s. Listen to advice but own your choices, use first principles to make decisions, and don’t neglect what you love. You’re not late , you’re just on your way.
Thanks for Reading!
That’s all for now —and if you made it this far, I appreciate you.
Next post coming soon.
Until then, spacin’ out!